Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
