No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
