none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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