ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
