Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
