What a fucking waste of an outfit
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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