I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
