We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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