I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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