apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
