I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Still dying that you shit outside
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
