Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
