you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
