i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
