we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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