i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
