i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize