I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize