Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
