also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
And then he peed in my hair
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