i may or may not be watching the land before time
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
