How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was confusing and full of hummus
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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