I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
