Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
