My sheets look like a crime scene.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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