yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
