girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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