your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
