you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
