My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize