You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
