Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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