But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
