Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
