In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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