Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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