Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
