apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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