OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
