Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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