he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
