but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
