loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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