Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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