just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
