I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
