SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my being single is dangerous.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
