The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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