He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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