i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize