We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
