Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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