was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
