so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have post one night stand depression
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
