I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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