Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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