Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
