I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
