she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
