Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
