Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
