you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
