Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
