Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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