um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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