we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
