I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
