I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Bring me that man meat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
