Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
