She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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