I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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