We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
