And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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